Raising a child isn’t just about teaching right from wrong—it’s about shaping how they see themselves and their abilities. And as parents, we want nothing more than to see our kids thrive, but it’s heartbreaking when they doubt themselves. Many kids believe they’re either naturally good or bad at something, which can make them afraid to try new things. I’ve watched my own kids struggle with frustration, feeling like they just weren’t “good” at something. That’s a fixed mindset, and it holds them back.
But when we help our kids understand that skills grow with effort, they become more confident, resilient, and willing to face challenges. And there are ways we can help our kids develop a growth mindset so they can take on the world with confidence and curiosity. When we shift the focus from being “smart” to working hard, kids start to believe in themselves in a whole new way. They stop fearing mistakes and start seeing them as stepping stones.
Teach the Science Behind Learning
Kids are naturally curious, so use that to help them understand how their brains grow! Explain that every time they practice a new skill, their brain builds stronger connections—just like muscles getting stronger with exercise. Talk about how mistakes help their brain learn and adapt. And when they realize their abilities aren’t fixed, they’ll be more willing to keep trying.
Praise Effort, Not Just Results
We all love seeing our kids succeed, but what we say about their success matters. Instead of focusing on how smart they are, highlight the work they put in: “I saw how much time you spent on that project, and it really paid off!” This will help them understand that effort and patience, not talent, is what leads to achievement. When they see hard work as the key to improvement, they’ll be more motivated to take on challenges. Make sure they know that perseverance is something to be proud of.
Encourage Them to Take on Challenges
It’s tempting to let our kids stick to what they’re good at, but real growth happens when they push themselves. Instead of allowing them to always choose the easiest books, suggest one that’s just a little harder. If they love playing piano but avoid difficult songs, challenge them to try something new. When you encourage them to step outside their comfort zone, they learn that struggle isn’t failure—it’s progress. The more they tackle challenges head-on, the more resilient they become.
Reframe Criticism as a Tool for Growth
No one likes hearing that they could do better, but learning how to handle feedback is a skill that will serve your kids for life. Instead of seeing criticism as something negative, help them view it as guidance. If their teacher or even older family member corrects their work, remind them that it’s not about being bad at something—it’s about getting better. Talk about how even adults need feedback to improve. When our kids see mistakes as learning opportunities, they won’t fear them as much.
Help Them Find Their Passion
When our kids love what they’re doing, they’re more likely to push through obstacles. If they haven’t found their thing yet, expose them to different activities—sports, music, art, science, anything that sparks their interest. When they find something they love, remind them that even the best athletes and musicians started somewhere. Passion will keep them going when things get tough, and that’s the essence of a growth mindset.
Change the Way They See Failure
Failure isn’t the end—it’s part of the process. When you see or feel our kids are struggling, remind them that mistakes don’t define them. Instead of saying, “I’m bad at this,” they can learn to say, “I haven’t figured it out yet.” You can even talk about famous people who failed before they succeeded, or better yet, your own experiences. Teaching our kids that failure is a stepping stone helps them stay persistent.
Surround Them with Inspiring Role Models
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Our kids need examples of people who kept going despite challenges. Point out real-life stories of perseverance—whether it’s a favorite athlete, a character in a book, or even someone in your own family. When they see that success comes from effort, not just talent, they’ll believe they can improve too. The right role models help reinforce the idea that growth is always possible.
I love reading the books from Little People, BIG DREAMS series with my kids. All of the stories are very relatable as they start with a little child who had a dream and worked hard to make it happen.
Be a Growth Mindset Example
Our little ones learn more from what we do than what we say. If we avoid challenges, they will too. But if we try new things and admit when we’re learning, they’ll see that growth never stops. When you make mistakes, talk about how you’re learning from them. Showing them that even adults keep growing by making mistakes.
Make Learning About Discovery, Not Just Grades
It’s easy to get caught up in grades, but true learning goes beyond test scores. Encourage curiosity by letting them explore topics they love just for fun. If they love dinosaurs, find books, documentaries, or museums to feed their interest. When learning becomes something exciting instead of something they’re judged on, they’ll stay motivated to grow. A love of learning lasts far beyond school.
Seek Extra Support When Needed
If your child struggles with certain skills, getting extra help isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s a way to grow. Whether it’s tutoring, speech therapy, or a mentor, support can make all the difference. Let them know that even adults seek help when they want to improve. The key is to teach them that asking for help is part of the learning process. When they understand that improvement is always possible, they’ll be more willing to keep trying.
15 Easy Hacks to Get Kids Out the Door on Time Every Morning
Mornings with kids can feel like a nonstop scramble, leaving you exhausted before the day even begins. Between missing shoes, half-eaten breakfasts, and unexpected tantrums, getting everyone out the door on time can seem impossible. But with a few smart tweaks, you can turn the chaos into a manageable routine. Simple, effective strategies can reduce stress, build independence, and create the structure kids need to transition smoothly into the day.
Are You Raising a Spoiled Kid? 15 Signs (and How to Fix It)
No one plans to raise an entitled child, but certain habits can unknowingly set the stage for it. Spoiling isn’t just about showering kids with toys—it’s a pattern where appreciation takes a backseat, and constant special treatment becomes expected. If your child struggles with gratitude, frustration, or demands more than they give, it may be time for a reset. Here are 15 behaviors that signal a spoiled mindset—and practical ways to turn things
Tamara Tsaturyan is the owner and writer of Thriving In Parenting, a website focused on providing simple tips for busy parents — easy and healthy recipes, home decor and organization ideas and all things P A R E N T I N G.
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