Figuring out how to make your elderly parents happy isn’t always as simple as helping with errands or reminders to take their medicine. What works for one parent might not mean anything to another, and that’s just the reality of it. But one thing’s for sure: they just want to know they’re still part of your world. And while you can’t make aging easier, you can make it feel a little less lonely.
It’s the small things that remind them they’re still loved, still needed, and still seen. If you’ve been wondering how to show up for them more, this list is a good place to start. You don’t have to do everything perfectly. What matters most is that you’re trying in your own way, from a place of love and respect. These little gestures might seem simple, but they carry more weight than we think when done with care and love.
Be Your Best Self—and Let Them See It
You becoming your best self is something they never stop cheering for. When you share your wins, big or small, it reminds them that all those years of hard parenting were worth something. Letting them see you live well makes them feel like they did something right. Even better, tell them how their values or advice helped you get there. That quiet pride they feel? It’s deeper than words.
Call Them—Just to Talk
Your phone call might be the best part of their entire week. You don’t need big news—just calling to say hi and ask what they had for lunch means more than you realize. It makes them feel remembered, not forgotten on the sidelines. Even if the conversations loop or ramble, that voice of yours brings comfort. It’s a thread of connection that never stops mattering. Those conversations are little lifelines of love.
Visit When You Can
Spending time with them—even just sitting in the same room—reminds them that they’re still part of your rhythm. Having coffee or eating together adds another layer of comfort, something grounding in the way only a shared meal can bring. It’s not about the food; it’s the togetherness. That one meal could carry them through a week of loneliness. Just show up—it makes a difference.
Include Them in Family Events
Let them be around the chaos, the laughter, the noise—it fills them up more than you think. You might assume it’s too much, but most older parents would rather be included than left out. Pull up an extra chair, give them a role, even if it’s just to hold the baby or say grace. Let them feel like they belong instead of just being a guest. Moments like those remind them they’re still part of the story.
Cook for Them
Making food for someone is an act of love that doesn’t need a lot of words. There’s something deeply comforting about being cooked for, especially when you’ve spent decades being the one who fed everyone else. Even if it’s just a pot of soup or reheating leftovers, it tells them, “I thought of you.” Cooking lets them relax, feel cared for, and enjoy something without lifting a finger. Bonus points if it’s something they used to make for you—it’s a beautiful full-circle moment. That simple act can warm more than just their stomach.
Play Games Together
Laughter, teasing, maybe a little competitive spirit—it all brings life into the room again. And play doesn’t have an age limit. Whether it’s cards, a puzzle, board games, or something on a tablet, it keeps their mind working and heart lighter. Even if they’re slower now, the point is to have fun together. These little moments can break up their routine and give them something to look forward to. You’ll end up laughing more than you thought, too.
Help Out Without Taking Over
Support doesn’t have to mean hovering—it’s about noticing what would make their life smoother. Water their plants, run errands, fix the Wi-Fi, grab batteries when you’re out—it adds up. Ask what they prefer instead of assuming they need everything done for them. They’ll appreciate that you’re trying to help without making them feel helpless. It’s all about giving help while preserving dignity. Most parents don’t want to feel like a project—they want to feel capable, with just a little backup. Helping them while letting them lead shows real love.
Play Their Music and Let the Memories Flow
Music unlocks something in them that conversation alone can’t. Let those old tunes play and just listen—you’ll hear stories you’ve never heard before. Suddenly you’re not just their kid—you’re someone they’re sharing life with. It’s a small act that brings back big emotions. Music connects the past to the present in such an easy, emotional way. And letting them lead the conversation brings that past alive all over again. Don’t rush it—those moments are treasures.
Encourage Grooming and Upkeep (Lovingly)
Gently nudging them to keep up with their self-care can change their whole outlook. Suggesting a haircut, a bit of lipstick, or gifting their favorite lotion can feel like a little push toward confidence. Not because they need to impress anyone, but because feeling good on the outside often lifts the inside too. Help them keep that spark alive. They’re still themselves—sometimes they just need reminding.
Ask for Their Input
Everyone wants to feel useful, no matter their age. Nothing feels better than being needed, even in small ways. When you ask your parents for their opinion or advice, it’s not just about the answer—it’s about showing them you still value their perspective. Whether it’s parenting tips, how to handle a neighbor, or even which paint color looks better, it makes them feel seen. They’re not just observers of your life; they’re contributors. That sense of being needed never gets old.
Go With Them to Appointments
Sitting beside them in waiting rooms says, “You’re not alone in this.” You’re not just there for answers—you’re there for support, even when it’s boring or uncomfortable. Helping them understand what the doctor said or just being a second set of ears is something they might not ask for, but absolutely need. Medical stuff can be overwhelming, and your presence brings peace and clarity. It means more than you think.
Suggest New Hobbies Gently
Trying something new doesn’t have to be a big production—it can be something as small as a book club or plant care. The idea is to spark interest and help them remember that growth doesn’t stop with age. Suggest activities with enthusiasm but zero pressure, and offer to try it with them. Sometimes they just need a nudge, not a full push. New experiences can bring unexpected joy when shared with someone they love. Keep it light and open, not pushy. You never know what might light a new fire in them.
Help Them Reconnect With Old Friends
Friendship doesn’t expire with age—it just gets harder to maintain. You can help by finding a phone number, arranging a lunch, or even just encouraging a birthday card. Those friendships have decades of history behind them—they matter more than we realize. Don’t underestimate how much it can lift their spirits to catch up with someone who knew them way back when. They don’t just need you—they need peers who remember who they were.
Look at Old Photos Together
Flipping through those albums isn’t about nostalgia—it’s about validation. Pull out those dusty albums or scroll through their phone gallery and ask about the faces you don’t recognize. They want to feel like their life meant something, that someone remembers. Listening to their stories and asking about the people in the pictures shows you’re still interested. Even if you’ve seen the same photo a hundred times, let them tell the story again. It brings comfort, and it keeps their history alive.
Let Them Keep Their Things and Their Space
Sometimes, holding onto objects and routines is the only way they can hold onto who they were. You might not understand why that chipped mug matters—but they do. Let them be surrounded by the life they built. Don’t rush them to “declutter” or modernize unless they ask. Home should feel like home, not a project. Respecting their space is one way of respecting them.
15 Signs Your Kid Is Stressed (That Most Parents Miss)
Recognizing these signs early is crucial so you can guide them toward managing their emotions. With patience, understanding, and the right support, you can help them navigate it in a healthy way. The key to helping them isn’t just about telling them to relax—it’s about identifying their struggles and providing the right support. You don’t have to have all the answers—just being there, listening, and offering a safe space makes all the difference.
20 Parenting ‘Shortcuts’ That Secretly Make Your Life Harder
Many of us have tried these quick fixes— some on a whim and others out of pure desperation. Sure, they might work at the moment, but parenting is all about the long game. And whether we like it or not, there’s no shortcut in parenting. If you’ve ever relied on these popular shortcuts, you’ll recognize that while they might offer short-term relief, they often come with long-term consequences that leave you questioning your decisions.
Tamara Tsaturyan is the owner and writer of Thriving In Parenting, a website focused on providing simple tips for busy parents — easy and healthy recipes, home decor and organization ideas and all things P A R E N T I N G.
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