Raising confident kids is one of the most rewarding yet challenging parts of parenting. As parents, we want our children to believe in themselves, be resilient in the face of setbacks, and step into the world with a strong sense of self-worth. But confidence isn’t something kids are just born with—it’s built over time through experiences, encouragement, and the environment you create for them. Everything from the way you speak to them to the opportunities you provide shapes how they see themselves and what they think they’re capable of achieving.
Every child is different, and building confidence doesn’t look the same for everyone. Some kids are naturally bold and adventurous, while others need extra reassurance to take that first step. And that’s completely okay. What matters most is that they learn to trust themselves, knowing they’re capable no matter what comes their way. You can’t give them confidence, but you can help them build it—one small victory, one tough moment, and one encouraging word at a time. Here are 19 ways to help your child grow into a confident, resilient person.
Be the Example
Kids learn by watching you, so they need to see you face challenges with determination. Even when you’re unsure, show them how to approach problems with a solution-focused mindset. Acknowledge when you’re nervous, but also talk about what you’re doing to prepare. It teaches them that confidence isn’t about knowing everything—it’s about believing you can figure things out. Your example will give them the courage to do the same.
Help Kids Discover Their Strengths and Passion
Confidence grows when kids have something they love and feel good at. Whether it’s painting, sports, music, or science experiments, encourage them to explore different interests until they find what excites them. Seeing themselves improve at something builds pride and a strong sense of identity. The more they engage in activities they enjoy, the more they’ll believe in their abilities.
Encourage Independence
Letting kids do things for themselves, even when it’s messy or slow, helps them develop self-trust. Whether it’s tying their shoes, ordering their food at a restaurant, or solving a minor problem on their own, these moments add up. When they succeed, they realize they’re capable; when they struggle, they learn how to handle it. The more independent choices they make, the more confident they become in their own judgment.
Let Them Learn From Mistakes
No child—or adult—gets everything right the first time. Instead of rescuing them from every mistake, let them experience setbacks and guide them through learning from them. When they mess up, remind them that mistakes are part of growth, not something to be ashamed of. The goal isn’t perfection—it’s resilience. A child who understands that failure is just a stepping stone will take on new challenges without fear.
Encourage a Positive Mindset
The way kids talk to themselves matters. If they say, “I can’t do it,” help them reframe it to, “I can’t do it yet.” Remind them of times they’ve faced difficulties and figured things out. Teaching them to replace negative thoughts with positive ones gives them the confidence to push through challenges. A growth mindset helps them see obstacles as opportunities rather than roadblocks.
Share Your Knowledge
To your child, you are their first and biggest role model. They admire the things you do, whether it’s cooking, fixing things, playing an instrument, or speaking another language. Teaching them your skills not only strengthens your bond but also gives them a sense of achievement. When they see that learning takes patience and practice, they’ll believe in their own ability to grow and improve.
Praise Effort Over Outcomes
Focusing only on wins can make kids afraid to try things where success isn’t guaranteed. Instead, praise how hard they worked, how they kept trying, and how they improved. This helps them develop a strong work ethic and a sense of accomplishment that isn’t tied to perfection. Kids who value effort over results will be more willing to take on challenges.
Keep Praise Balanced
Over-praising can make kids dependent on outside validation rather than building internal confidence. Instead of generic compliments, focus on specific things they did well, like their problem-solving skills or persistence. Recognizing their hard work rather than just the outcome helps them feel proud of their own growth. It also teaches them to recognize their strengths without needing constant reassurance.
Push Them Out of Their Comfort Zone
Trying new things, even when they’re scary, builds confidence. Whether it’s a new sport, a different activity, or speaking in front of a group, encourage them to step outside their comfort zone. Each time they face a challenge, they gain proof that they can handle unfamiliar situations. Small wins in new experiences add up and prepare them for bigger ones.
Encourage Curiosity
Kids are full of questions, and answering them—even the endless “why?”—helps them feel heard and valued. Curiosity leads to learning, and a child who isn’t afraid to ask questions will be more confident in school and life. Encouraging them to explore, experiment, and find answers on their own strengthens their critical thinking skills. When they feel comfortable seeking knowledge, they grow into confident learners.
Offer Constructive Feedback
Being too critical can make kids afraid to try new things or believe they’re never good enough. If they need guidance, offer constructive feedback rather than negative comments. Instead of saying, “That’s wrong,” try, “Let’s figure out another way to do this.” A supportive approach helps them feel safe to make mistakes and keep trying.
Celebrate Effort
Confidence isn’t just about big accomplishments—it’s also built in small moments. Whether they’re struggling to learn something new or working hard at a task, acknowledge their perseverance. Recognizing their dedication, rather than just the outcome, makes them feel valued. They’ll start to believe that their effort matters, no matter the result.
Teach Social Skills
Knowing how to communicate, resolve conflicts, and express emotions helps kids feel more secure in social situations. Teach them to listen, express their feelings, and handle disagreements with kindness. Helping them navigate friendships and conflicts early on gives them confidence in their interactions. Social skills are a key part of feeling self-assured in any environment.
Set Goals
Teaching kids to set and achieve goals gives them a sense of control over their success. Whether it’s finishing a book, learning a new skill, or saving money for something special, help them break it down into steps. Reaching small milestones boosts their confidence and shows them they’re capable. Goal-setting also teaches patience and perseverance.
Give Your Child Choices and Responsibilities
Letting kids make age-appropriate choices—like picking their clothes or deciding what book to read—gives them a sense of control. Assigning small responsibilities, like setting the table or feeding a pet, helps them feel capable. Feeling trusted with tasks builds their confidence in their abilities. Over time, they’ll become more comfortable making decisions for themselves.
Encourage Problem-Solving
When kids run into problems, resist the urge to fix everything for them. Instead, guide them through thinking of solutions on their own. Asking, “What do you think we should do?” helps them build confidence in their own judgment. The more they practice problem-solving, the more capable they’ll feel handling challenges.
Let Them Be Themselves
Confidence comes from feeling accepted for who they are. Support their unique interests, even if they don’t match your own. Letting them embrace their individuality teaches them to be proud of who they are. A child who feels loved and valued for being themselves will carry that confidence into every part of life.
Create Opportunities for Success
You shouldn’t shield your child from failure, but there are many ways you can create more opportunities for success. Teach your child to successfully do things for herself from a young age. Learning to dress herself, for example, can give a preschooler a sense of accomplishment and pride. Focusing on strengths instead of dwelling on weaknesses can help children succeed and feel good about themselves.
Be Patient
Building confidence does not happen overnight. Your child will fail, make mistakes, and push your buttons. Learning how to be a patient parent and regulate your emotions will model healthy behaviors as your children grow and develop. As you respond instead of react and communicate effectively, they’ll develop the confidence to navigate relationships with respect, kindness, and self-belief.
15 Parenting Wins That Feel Small but Mean Everything
It’s easy to wonder if anything you teach is truly sinking in, especially on the hard days. But then, out of nowhere, your child does something so simple yet so profound — without a reminder or a nudge. And you realize that all the small, unnoticed efforts are adding up to something big. So if you ever feel like you’re just going through the motions, take a step back. Those tiny wins? They are everything. Here are some of the little victories that prove you’re doing an incredible job, even when it doesn’t always feel like it.
Old-School Parenting Lessons That Kids Today Could Seriously Benefit From
These old-school values weren’t about being overly strict or harsh—they were about preparing kids for the real world. While times have changed, the wisdom behind those parenting principles is still just as relevant today.
Tamara Tsaturyan is the owner and writer of Thriving In Parenting, a website focused on providing simple tips for busy parents — easy and healthy recipes, home decor and organization ideas and all things P A R E N T I N G.
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